I Missed the Sun
by Shinzui Naru
Summary: A re-education story from alternate MM3 universe. But it's not about Rachel, okay?


I Missed the Sun

I was always an obedient girl, always did what my father wanted me to. My mother had taught me to do that. My parents didn't even bother putting me in school. I never learned the kind of stuff my twin brother did. I was jealous. But he would come home and he started teaching me how to read. He was my best, and only, friend. 

So I learned to read, and he also taught me to write. I was saddened every day when he got up and went to school with his friends. I would get up and go to the window just to watch him walk off towards the bus stop. I was pale, due to the fact that I mostly worked inside. And I was accustomed to the dim inside lights at my house.

I would only go outside every once in a while. Not to play, I wasn't really allowed to play. I hated my society. I still do. I always will.

One day, I got an idea. A revolutionary idea. Yes, it was the only thing that would do. The idea of living as equals in our lives, where I would have been able to go to school just like Josh, or where I could go out and get a job at least, or drive, or...or do something other than do housework with my mother all day. 

I knew what happened to people who had ideas like mine. They were sent to re-education camps. I decided to keep my ideas to myself. I would go up to my room after I did my chores and read. Josh brought me books from the authors he read about in school. A few days ago he had brought me a book by Mark Twain, and I was a few chapters into it.

I heard my mother and father fighting one night, downstairs. Josh had gone out with his friends, and I was the only one in the house. I ran down the stairs and looked at my parents, who were in the living room.

"Joyce, keep those things to yourself!"

"Why should I? I don't want my children growing up in this world! Why can't we-" She was cut off by a fist in the cheek. Mom rubbed her face and looked at the floor.

"I...I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking straight." She kept her eyes on the floor as she walked into the kitchen. I felt a tear threatening to escape my eye, and I quietly went back upstairs. Then I began to read again.

The next thing I knew, it was morning. The beautiful sun shined down on my face. I smiled as I opened my eyes, looking out my window at the sun. It had always been the thing that looked over me in the morning.

"Audrey! Time to get up!" My mom called from downstairs.

"Coming!" I hopped out of bed and solemnly walked downstairs. Then I went into the kitchen where my mother was cooking. She turned around and smiled at me. There was a bruise on her right cheek.

"Good morning. Now, today..." She droned on and on, but I knew what my duties were. Laundry, feed the cat, take out the trash, clean, more laundry, it was routine. I nodded my head, even though I was concentrating more on the bruise she had, and the moments from the previous night. "Understand?"

I blinked, coming out of my trance.

"Mom, why is there a bruise on your cheek?" I asked, trying to start a conversation.

"I-I don't know. I must have done _something_ to make it come about." I felt something ticking inside of me. She mumbled a little more about the bruise, and I blew up.

"Why did Daddy hit you last night? I saw it! I saw _everything_! What's wrong with you, why do you just let him do that? Go tell someone! Leave! Why don't you?! What's wrong with you?!" I screamed. It echoed through the kitchen. That bomb that had been building up inside of me...finally, it was gone. My mother stood there, dumbfounded. I was trembling from the amount of force that took. I took a deep breath and a tear fell onto my cheek.

Mom popped me on the cheek...hard.

"Don't you _ever_ talk like that in front of _anyone_! You're my little girl, I don't want you send to one of those re-education camps!" I started to look down at the floor like mom had taught me to do, but instead I turned up to her.

"Why don't we do something? Why can't we make things right?" I sobbed.

"Because it's beyond us. We can't do anything about it."

"Is it? Or is that just what we're taught? Can't women be strong too?"

"Not in front of anyone. Men are stronger than us. Now, get to your chores." I went about my daily routine, and a long time later my father came home. I scowled at him as he walked through the door.

"Hi, Audrey." He said hollowly. Josh wasn't home from school yet. Where was he? Probably driving somewhere with his friends. He had just gotten his license. Daddy went into the kitchen where my mother was sitting and drinking a cup of coffee. I looked to her, and she gave me a warning glance.

I nodded silently and she looked away from me. I walked up to my room and sat on my bed, pulling out my book. I was mad at everything and everyone. Mad at my parents, at Josh, at the government, at myself. I hated myself at the time. I could have started a revolution or something! Why didn't I? I heard the phone ring, and I sat up.

Then I went downstairs to listen. My father had picked it up.

"How is he? Is he alive?" 

A pause.

"Yes, but is he alive?!" 

Another pause.

"Yes, I'll be down right away."

And I knew it right then. There was a twinge of fear inside me. Something was wrong with Josh.

Daddy picked up his coat and started to walk out the door.

"Daddy? What is it?" I asked.

"Your brother was in an accident. I'm going to go see how he is."

"I want to come with you." I told him.

"No."

"Daddy, _I want to come._"

"You can't."

"But he's my brother! I want to come!" I shouted. I walked over to him, and looked at his face. Then he slapped me. My head turned from the force.

"Don't _ever_ look your elders in the eye, hear me?! Show respect!" Then he stormed out the door before I could come out of it, and I heard him start the engine of the car.

It was hours later when he came home. He was pale.

"Is Josh alright?" I asked hopefully. Daddy shook his head.

"He...he died a few minutes before I left. Severe brain damage."

I didn't know exactly what he meant by severe brain damage, but I knew he was gone. My brother...my best friend in the whole wide world. The brother who taught me how to read and write, and brought me books from the school library, he was dead. Gone forever. I didn't even get to say goodbye, didn't tell him how much I loved and admired him. I didn't cry. Didn't pout or scream at my father. I bounded up the stairs and flung myself on my pillow. I cried, for hours I just laid there and cried. 

My cheek was throbbing from Daddy's blow. My eyes were stained and wet with tears. My pillow was soaked. I heard a knock at my door.

"Go away." I said, my voice shaky.

"Audrey, let me in." My father's domination voice commanded.

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Damnit, Audrey! Unlock the damn door!" I looked at the door. My father was shaking it violently. I silently got up and slowly unlocked it. Daddy barged in and stared at me.

"What do you want?" I asked spitefully.

"What is your problem?" He asked.

"You're my problem." I mumbled.

"What did you say?"

"I _said_ that you're my problem for not letting me sat goodbye to my brother! He was my best friend! He was the only friend I ever had! And you didn't even let me sat goodbye!" I burst into tears again. His face was turning red. I was afraid he was going to slap me. I should have tuned to the floor. The cold, silent floor. Should have looked to it for protection. But I looked at him. This time I looked him straight in the eye. His eyes held mine.

He turned and left before he said anything. A few minuets later I heard my mother pleading with him.

"But you can't! She's the only child we have now!"

"It's for her own good!"

Then I heard my mother's loud crying and my father's mumbling over the phone, I guessed. I grabbed a bag out of my closet and threw clothes and the little money I had inside. I knew who he was calling. And if I didn't leave, they'd come and take me to a camp where I would be abused and have my spirit broken. I went into their room and took about $500 from their saving jar. Then I ran back to my room and opened my window.

I jumped onto the roof and looked around for a way to get down. I heard sirens in the night, saw them. They were coming for me. There was no way down, no way out. I was trapped! I took a leap of faith, and landed on my back in the front yard. There was a truck in front of the house. I looked for an escape. There wasn't one. I whined and watched them come towards me. 

They grabbed me by the arm and began to drag me into the truck. I saw neighborhood people come out of their houses or looking out their windows trying to find the source for the screams they heard, which were coming from me. I kicked, yelled, tried to bite the hands that held me tight. One of the men who grabbed me had snagged the necklace I was wearing in the process.

They shoved me roughly in the back of the big black truck, and the chain with my locket snapped. The locked clattered onto the road and I tried to reach it, but the man slammed the door while my hand banged into it. I shook the barred window, screamed for help. No one came. No one cared. No one was bold enough to come. A girl, dodging the restraint of her father, ran up and stared at me.

"Please...help..." I begged in vain. She stepped backwards, looked behind her, turned and ran. I kicked the door, heard a clang as my shoe hit metal. After a few minutes I gave up and sat alone.

We got to a building and the guys opened the back of the truck. They roughly grabbed me and led me into the building. They strip-searched me and then led me into a room with about twenty other girls. They gave us plain dirty robes and made us sit on the floor.

"While you are here, you will not leave the building. You will not go outside. You will work, and I will straighten you out. And if there is anything other than that done," He stared me in the eye. "I will deal with it personally." I looked at the floor. I felt like dirt. I wanted to die. I wouldn't be able to see the sun.

****

I had gotten thinner over the past month. My stomach had stopped growling from the hunger. One meal a day, that's all we got. We were all pale. I sat in the corner of my cold, lonely cell with about ten other girls in it and I shivered. I cried. I hated my life. All I wanted to do was crawl under a rock and die. My hopes of changing the world had been in vain, I soon realized. They had vanished within one hour of living in Hell. That's what this place was. It, in itself, was the Devil's home.

I didn't want to be there for long. I would do everything I was asked. I wouldn't look up at my leaders, or even at the other girls. They didn't look at me, either. No one attempted conversation for a while. I wouldn't speak, wouldn't sing, wouldn't laugh ever again. That's what I vowed.

I broke the promise to myself a month later. A new girl, a blond, was thrown into the cell I was in. I pulled my head off of my knees to look at her for a minute. Tall, blond, blue eyes. She grabbed the bars, knuckles turning white, and screamed at the man standing outside the cell. She shoved her face through the bars. The man grabbed the key ring and whipped it across her face. I could see red marks appear, and a drop of blood fell onto her robe like a red tear.

I stood up, feeling weak, and walked over to her. By now, she was sitting silently. I sat next to her. Maybe it would be good to have someone to help each other through this. She looked over at me and then seemed to start off into space.

"Why me?" She asked. I didn't respond. "I thought...I prayed that things would change. What's happening to the world?" She looked over at me, as if she was asking me that very question. I shrugged and looked at the floor. "Why don't you talk?" She asked. I looked up at her. There was still blood on her cheek. She wore it proudly. It was a sign of her fighting. It was a scar.

"I'm Audrey." I said, my voice a hoarse whisper. It felt strange to speak again. Like...like I couldn't remember exactly how to.

"I'm Rachel. How long have you been here?"

"I can't remember how long. Day and night are the same here. There's no sun, no moon. No light, no dark." I told her. My voice was being warmed up again. 

"I see. God, this place is Hell." She said after a minute's silence.

"I know, Rachel. I know."

1 year later...

"Who are you?" The man asked, going from person to person. It was our last day. Well, it was mine at least.

"I'm nobody."

"Good. Who are you?" Same answer from everyone. He came over to me. I put my hands behind my back and looked at the floor like I was instructed to do.

"And who are you?" I paused. It was a long pause. If I didn't do this, I'd never see the sun again. I'd kill myself long before then.

"I'm...I'm nobody." The words were empty. I didn't know if I meant it or not. Yeah, I did. I meant it. I was nobody. I was small, I didn't matter. No one cared about me.

The next day I was allowed to leave. In a dirty brown robe and no shoes, I left the re-education camp. Where everyone else was concerned, I wasn't Audrey anymore. I never was.

My parents were waiting. I looked around. Then I stepped away from the compound, the sun stinging my eyes. They came up and hugged me, told me I had missed Josh's funeral.

"Audrey, we missed you." Mom said.

"Audrey? Who is Audrey? Me? No, I'm nobody." I chanted. My mom cried, my father looked more proud of me than he had when I first learned to walk. No, he was only proud of himself. He didn't care about me. They led me to their new car. I stood there, watching them get in for a minute. I turned my glance to the sun and remembered everything I had forgotten over six months. People should be equal. Women should be able to drive, and talk in public, and wear pants, and...and everything else. I stared at the sun for a minute.

Yes, I remembered the sun. The big yellow ball of heat in the sky. The source of light, the source of heat. My brother was in the sun. I could see his face. I knew the sun personally. It was my friend. And I missed the sun.

The End


End file.
